Defining Independence Part I

Hi

What in the world is really this independence us women are always trying at? Is it about being educated, having a firm family, career, car, house, BFFs? One thing I’ve learned the hard way is that having stability, faith wise can really help in defining your own personal independence. It really is about You following God’s lead in every single aspect of your life, I believe.

Well, like most, I too approached this independence thing on the basis of my career. Oh what a mess this can be. I haven’t fully come to shape up on this, however I am grateful for the many life lessons. You know the infamous work-life balance matter is tricky, if it even exists. Let me tell you what defining my independence through my job did to me.

Some approximately four hours to drive back home from work and I would find myself over compensating, asking if really my independence as a career woman isn’t just standing in my way of being a good Wife and Mother. Getting home and immediately be on my feet, Oh the mess! See, in 2016 I got this Job that demands I be far from home every now and then. I have been at it for four years now. I had a hard time enjoying it at first, still not easy but I am grateful. You can imagine how many times I have had to answer this questions; “How is it mara?” / “How do you do it?” without losing it. The worried faces or the You are crazy leaving your man alone hints, all because I am a woman. Oh the pressure, the enticed fears!!! Do you think men are felt sorry for as much as we women are when it comes to being a working wife/mother/partner? Well...!

Over the years I faced a lot of challenges indeed regarding this career move, which I have always known it is a blessing though not “ideal”. I mean, as a woman, I’ve had to deal with judgement that question my priorities. This was very depressing for me, something I’ve had to even seek professional counselling with. Are you familiar with stories of brave people who give all they’ve got and be left with none in order to receive a miracle in places like churches or in the gambling world? That is essentially what I did in the first two years of getting a steady job. I threw everything into everyone and every other thing, except myself. I didn’t feel comfortable buying myself food, I wouldn’t go to a saloon for a treat, I didn’t even budget for things to self-indulge on like a cake on my birthday.

All that, when I look back, it is a picture of self-sacrifice over extended. Too much of anything can be dangerous they say. I will say for sure, the lesson of loving myself first before others knocked me down in the hardest but best way possible. I learned the hard way that having a car is not true independence. Things like not having property and the likes, all these worldly things aren’t as fulfilling as its made up to be. I thank God for all the lessons for it channeled my character. I am one strong woman I tell you, I know it, I feel it, I am it.

Let me take a breather and take much needed time to rest. That is a lot to share even for me, though is such a release. I grow when I put it all out there, I feel like it empowers me to further discourage timidness. This is why I believe 2 Timothy 1:7 is one essential scripture in this journey of defining Independence.

I hope you related to the matter above so far. Do follow through with Part II, it shall be worthwhile.

Regards

Livhuwani