Unusual Pleasures

It is a new year with so much of you probably having some need to plan for and be positive about whatever is ahead. I can share with you that in my case, what needs attention was revealed the year that just passed. It feels like clear paths were paved for me due to circumstances and changes experienced.

Surely, this makes perfect sense that now I be focusing on healing and growing. It is important though, to mention that it is also a choice I had to make as a matter of urgency to focus this way. I am very aware of how dark I can be when I stay too long buried in my baggage. So, thanks to all my Self-Care Investments, I now have a respect of time as far as choosing to move on and not overthimk is needed. The liberty in releasing oneself from the chains that pain inflicts is life. I will be honest and say I still feel the pain as wounds heal differently. I also acknowledge it openly that it is difficult, very tough. I just have the strength to learn and grow from it because I did not run from it. Not running allows me to discover lessons that need attention. I feel I have developed some sense of emotional maturity, even if I have to say so myself. “Dear Self __ I am proud of you!”

In the spirit of being self-aware and caring for oneself, there are things I have been fortunate enough to experience that are a bit more on the challenging side, most gut wrenching and flaming the comfort out of being in my personal space and skin. In the spirit of Self-Care Investments as is no secret with my blogging, a few highlights to what I’m learning to find unusual pleasure consequently includes : • Loving someone who is at that time hating you. This defeats the back and forthcomings of wanting to convince them of your worth and doing something you’ll regret. In loving them, they end up fighting themselves instead. It will be on them, not you, how things go.

• Welcoming someone who categorically rejected you in their own space when tables turn. I know this to be empowering and often leads to earning respect you deserve. • Giving others the freedom they want away from you though you want them around or closer. At least this way, you are not forcing things. • Responding with calm in aggravated situations. Gives you more capacity to be just. • Choosing to sleep things over. This gives you time to make informed decisions. • Channeling time to yourself knowing very well it is perceived as being selfish, when in fact it is what you need and realignment is best enhanced. Learning how you gather yourself, what calms you is a good thing. • Accepting not being a priority to someone you long for. This helps channel your testament to how conditional love is in the world we live in. As a result, you learn to love yourself instead. • Knowing what is right and not wanting to be right. This starts by letting go of the need to express it especially when you are dealing with subject matters that require objectiveness. • Forgiving before you get an apology. This is you intentionally removing yourself from the unrest and uneasiness of the hurt. • Freeing oneself from the need to know how things will turn out, but being present in what is at hand. This means you value presence. It also means you have faith. • Loving Children how they should be loved, doing what's best and be not their favorite person at that time, age or level. Ability to discipline responsibly. This helps you to grow out of people pleasing tendencies even with adults. • Being in spaces where you are the least knowledgeable and recognized. This allows you to suck more than most, because you are positively positioned to learn. It requires you to be of a positive attitude.

**'*Trusting my instincts and noting how I feel about something especially the offish kind, and not feel the need to share but use it to best protect my energy. • Praying and Praising when overwhelmed spiritually. The so called Gracefully Broken. It works wonders when you are feeling anxious. Just put on that gospel song, read that Bible, search for a relevant spiritual message in the net and before you know it, Contentment is at reach. • Resting in God’s promises. Surrendering to the uncertainties of the life we are in and being able to breathe. • Genuinely believing in your dreams while the odds aren’t for you. It grows your Self-belief. • Unplugging from Social media right when you feel lonely and doing something specifically unattached to your circle. This helps you develop a good relationship with yourself. Company is not always needed. • Losing something or someone you hold close to heart but be able to embrace the memories and compliment your life with lessons they marked in you. • Being honest enough to accept when you are wrong and work solely to improve without any expectation to be applauded for it. • Doing what you wish done to you with hopelessness of receiving the same courtesy. The Power you gain from this is unmatched. You literally feel good about your heart and your entire being. I must say, I’m learning to capitalize on this. The little I’ve been able to stretch my empathy on has filled me up. It feels peaceful when I lay down knowing that I didn’t fold to a lower level. Please try it!

All the things above, I keep being challenged to keep growing from in recent times. As a result, I am starting to find unusual pleasures from it all. I understand how some of those things leave me looking like a fool or stupid. But, I have grown to build from such an outlook. It is all building my character inside instead.

If you are looking to embrace doing things differently to attain different results in your life, take advantage of some of the sad and hard realities you may be facing and literally find ways to use it for your own personal growth. Be intentional about it. Do not be dismayed, or be engulfed by self pity. You can learn to love even when you are not feeling loved. You can be kind and forgiving even when you are persecuted. You can pray even when you can’t utter words. The only thing you need to be relying on is God’s promises regarding faith with works, praying about everything and not being anxious about anything.

For me, 2022 looks like a whole lot of Character Building. I have a lot to heal from and what I’ve learned about myself in the past year is that I seem to get more and more out of life’s hardships than its own pleasures. It will be interesting how I heal and exercise my growth. I definitely know now how much work I need, truthfully. Knowing and understanding that I Matter to God most, has given me courage to embrace change. I use to think I needed someone to tell me that I Matter for it to be true. The day I learned differently from this, I gained strength to launch my Self-Love Journey.

Essentially, I committed this with the Lord, wrote it down not as my resolutions for the year but as my heart’s desire that need His own will to truly unfold. Specifically, I have 2 Timothy 2:15-16 as my scripture for the year, as of now. It reads : “Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who has no need to be ashamed, rightly handling the word of truth. But avoid irreverent babble, for it will lead people into more and more ungodliness,”… I will leave the rest for next time.

What have you put before the Lord for your life this year? Well, all the best in your journey this year. Be blessed in everything that matters to you. Remember Proverbs 16:3 while you are at it!

My blog on Character Building: https://www.bylt.info/post/character-building

You Matter! By Livhuwani Tshikovhi