A Mind, a Heart, and a Soul: The Ultimate Entanglement!
- livhuwasha
- May 29, 2025
- 9 min read
A Mind, a Heart, and a Soul: The Ultimate Entanglement!
The reception through the ventricles for the connect, the gray and white, the matter in my head and heart, oh the intertwining!
The beating, the breathing, and movements, it be my spirit embossed, indeed translates a life.
How my heart's desires tailors’ actions that I shall forever account for, no thought however genius shall fool me. Intentions!
The ridden of old ways is the best ride to the eternal destiny.
The forgiven wrongs are the best freedom to eternal peace when relating.
What yet pride to let go, what yet joy experienced.
What yet vulnerability my heart allows, what yet my love received.
What yet my mind conforms, what yet its renewal? – Need for Change!
It is in the unrest of my soul, I should be certain I am not led by the Holy Spirit. And so, there is no satisfaction and never will be, until I truly Surrender all to Jesus.
A Mind, a Heart, and a Soul - keep studying, hearing, praying and living - By Faith!
Proverbs 4: 21-25 Do not let them out of your sight, keep them within your heart; for they are life to those who find them and health to one’s whole body. Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. Keep your mouth free of perversity; keep corrupt talk far from your lips. Let your eyes look straight ahead; fix your gaze directly before you.
I live in a very small world when it comes to personal relations. It is becoming smaller everyday. This I don't know if it is a good thing, but it is healthier when comparing and considering the kind of life I've lived. I have also been taught so many times to trust my instincts on energies. The times I felt something is off and still indulge without caution, I got burned, over and over again. Yes, I have walls and at times I wish they could fall, because I am missing out on some beautiful people. But I still trust in being mindful. I still believe every lesson learned serves a purpose. Let me keep the faith that what is good will work out in its own time.
In my mindfulness, I find that a lot of things are falling away gradually, there’s been a lot of falling apart though, and certain things and people however only then get room to occupy. A lot of my old self is still hanging around but I literally live struggling to relate with my new self as well. The Old and New Self here is based on Ephesians Chapter 4. My old self as I've been scribing, was into people pleasing. This then must paint a picture that I lived my life neglecting God’s approval. Since 2018, many years after being Baptized, I got into a self-confrontation journey, through therapy. In the seven years since then, the new-found self is rather very strong on not suffering for the convenience of others, amongst many elements of Self, in rediscovering. I must say, it is hard to walk away and rescue self from toxicity of people you love and care about. It is harder to face my own toxicity of my lack of healthy communication with many. I tend to shut people off and discard their efforts to reach me in the name of protecting my peace. I get very anxious when I see certain in-coming calls on my phone. I have a hard time believing my contribution to their lives is valuable once they really show me once or twice, I’m problematic. Once a loved-one deem me a problem, I receive and step back. Coming back to them wholly is a risk I will not take no matter how they show me I matter. To me, not ever trusting them or my value in their life is not only self-care but it is me doing them a favor. Needless to say, it is a trust issue. Even those who really care about me I feel are suffering from this. I am very scared of being a nuisance in people’s lives, especially those I love. Living like this for me is not based only on the parts about living at peace with one another, it is also based on trauma of being called a problem, self-centered, jealous, insecure and controlling being. Self-care will say, tell it like it is and leave your loved ones alone since you are always to blame when things go off. Self-care will inform to stay away and just pray for them if you do not want to impose. However, some of my efforts of my old self were not because I was trying to be the centre of everything, I genuinely cared. It gave me joy showing up for others. Now I am living very scared of being caring and actually showing it.
Ephesians 4: 22-24 You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.
There is a turning point in all this even so. The new self is healthier and peaceful with her individuality. She knows her flaws and no longer trying to live dependent on others to praise her. I am finding it to be some sort of extending grace to be openly vulnerable, mostly to God since I have put less time in proving I care and love in a few of my relationships with His people. He is changing a lot of my seeking for attention and helping me rather adapt and adopt serving with healthier expectations from Him instead. Through sharing spiritual encouragements, I find myself learning about selflessness. Accommodating other people’s flaws is becoming a thing of nature now. I am getting some balance in existing in an imperfect world. Perhaps is because I am not trying to be accepted and acknowledged as much as I USE TO. I am not sure if I am getting it out clearly, but as I journey on with spiritual growth, I am finding it to be less hard to exist in spaces and energies that deem me unfit and undeserving. I am coming to terms with the reality of existing in a personal world that is truly challenging my faith and glad that I am not succumbing to the pressure by losing that faith. I am rather holding on.
I understand that toxicity is very relative, especially given one’s experiences, awareness and comprehension. There are many people who believe people pleasing is their love language, others self-neglect and self-deny and deem it being accommodating and charitable. It may very well be true or false, according to where they are in mind, body and soul. When you self-actualize in the flesh, it can be hard to be humble towards the existence of anything and anyone else around you. You can claim, those and that which challenge your assertiveness are jealous, intimidated and can't relate. But, in humility and in spirit, your self-actuality empowers existences around you to aspire the same self-will to can, to conquer and beam a ray of prosperity. This is why, many people who reach certain levels of worldly successes move differently. Some are pompous and distinctively trying to not relate. Others are pompous but very indifferent about it. Others are not even trying to be found out to be successful. Others are found out without even acknowledging that they are any better than the next person when they clearly are. In the few kind I've just shared, who do you suppose can inspire you into looking to be successful yourself? The answer, the true answer, can only come when you truly examine and reflect on who you are now and where you are coming from. The former you play a role on how you would particularly carry yourself when certain levels of blessings come through. Let us be clear, blessings can also come through disguised as burdens, quarrels, loss, heartbreak, failure and even turmoil. It is in this kind of life experiences wherein the kind of self-caring you've been about will help you pivot or drown. It is in these experiences of life that are sombre, where you will feel it if you are truly toxic or loving. Where your true intentions will be exposed. Where your actions will speak life(overcoming) or death(defeat). I do not know about you, but for me, I have and been learning that I have good intentions and they are swallowed up by poor communication. The language I speak often is life-giving in words. But, in actions, I end up stagnant on anxiety, fearing poor reception and rejection, fearing being bear and vulnerable to pain. I have found that this is trauma based and as well about my flesh. Now, the restlessness my spirit gets from this is getting more and more overwhelming and overpowering. I think and believe this is a win to the new-self spiritually.
The deceit and decency of our hearts is undeniably powerful. The positive and negative thoughts that co-exist in one’s brain, is just as influential. The projection in living with these facts of being human is expected, unexpected, experienced and inexperienced all around immensely. The indifference that then lingers leaves a lot of deception normalized and covered as self-protection, and as self-care at times I have found. However, self-control and self-contentment in your self-care can be the difference. Falsehood is very addictive when you’ve yet to undergo tests in life that teach Surrender, Contentment and Stillness. I am sure you know this is leading to being Humble for the ultimate life experience when in this journey of self-care.
Matthew 6:33 But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.
This kind of lessons will strip you off your reasoning if you deem yourself all-knowing. Your old-self will wear off without your consent when this happens. Life will humble you. You will at first fight, miss and deny the signs. This is when you are fighting on your own, trying to be in control. And, God will be so graceful towards you and make your fight, reason and control look and be nothing. He will have you sitting with family members who do not understand you, who are clearly not impressed by you. He will let you be a boss to employees who do not respect you. He will give you all the money you want and more but with poor financial management skills. He will give you beauty with no brains. Friends with no genuine care but just for benefits when they need what only you can provide. The talent and gifts you have won't fulfil you into understanding purpose. You will walk on and never arrive. You will win but never feel celebrated. You will call but never get an answer. The struggle with you will continue even when there is no need, because there will be no peace of mind and heart even when you overcome a battle. The new-self in the Lord will be the kind that will see, hear and live in the acceptance of this kind of defeat. In the defeat of what self-inflicted wounds and damage birthed. When you start confessing to not being settled and content even in just a thought, a cry or word - this is when the spirit in you is awakened and beginning it's renewal and transformation. The blessed ones will be those who surrender. A Humble Servant is favoured more than a Prideful Master. The other one is never prone to shame, while the other one awaits a Fall when thinking they reign. You cannot shame a person who already knows and live being humble. The Old-self should always be beneath you as a new creation in the Lord. Your Self-care is healthy when it makes you a better person within yourself and those around you. You should, and It should never be the same or as it was in thoughts, actions and feelings when you are in this journey of self caring in the Lord. Consequently, He who is in you will wear off and tear down ‘the you’, as you believed and perceived. For on your own, a lot proves impossible. But with Christ Jesus, with the Holy Spirit, the possibilities are endless. MATTHEW 19:26 Jesus looked at them intently and said, “Humanly speaking, it is impossible. But with God everything is possible.”
It is commendable to hold on to your Faith even when you think, feel and get that you've made it in life. A lot of awareness that you are merely just in the Grace of God is needed in all of our lives. You do matter to the Lord indeed, but this needs a lot of humble embodiment to carry out His Goodness and Mercy through your life. May you carry the torch that is shining and not deeming light. May being about self-care not become your own God. There is a difference between being self-aware and being self-reliant. No new self in the LORD relies on themselves alone, you will always need GOD to be the lamb of your feet, in the path of your life.
Psalms 119:105
Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path.
This is a Matter of Upliftment for your Contentment in the Lord!
@youmatterlt
Comments