In the Journey of Ordered Steps
- livhuwasha
- Sep 17, 2025
- 8 min read
Updated: Sep 21, 2025
One step, at a time, movement.
A sound cry, a pound of what congests, heavy lifting.
A Pout, a clown, Oh the fronting.
It is a step, a body, a posture.
The outward layers that pamper a defined life probable of misconstrued ideals.
My being is from within though.
My move is encouraged from within though.
I am speaking of what is within though.
My reactive posturing is from what is invoked though.
What if I am not at peace within though…
I am at peace within though. for finally, I am no longer in need for control.
I finally get it, this is not about me. I am just a vessel, a servant. What I serve is already placed - ordered.
The unknown is not so scary no more, not when what is happening proves possibilities are actual. To focus then on what I do not know can’t be that significant. Not when the one who knows made what is now - be possible. The ones against me can’t be that powerful, not when they are revealed - known. My hopes can be kept though, for there is a He for a She, who is capable – in me. There is a stronger, higher and better presence that exists. A carrier of all. A redeemer for all. The establisher, the judge. My God – my deliverer, my delight.
The steps of a man are ordered by the LORD who takes delight in his journey. – Psalms 37:23
What a journey, this thing called life. I never thought this would be me, I never imagined it possible, to be so content with not being able to change some of my situations. No guts, no glory indeed. To acknowledge despair without looking for reasons to fight it. How did I grow to be this kind of a person? I never imagined that when I was praying for growth, it would mean a total eclipse of the heart. Is this how peace really is? Lonely but very calm? Laughing randomly when alone about the many changes but at the same time balling in a facial flood? I never imagined that when I prayed for self-confidence, it would be about learning more about God and my identity in Him instead. That, this faith of mine in the Lord would teach me how to let free of things and people I love. It is not for me to keep a tight grip, but to let it rip in the trust and faith of their maker. Only God can decide what and who stays. He knows what and who leaves. He who knows our hearts. From it flows a lot!
Praying for peace and contentment only meant letting go of a distorted reality of my dwelling it seems, this so, to accept things for what they really are. And things had not been truthful, hence the unsettling, the confusion, the weariness and burdens that has been. No matter how hard, how soft, strong and smart or equipped I was, there was no peace to what was going on in my life for the longest time because there was a lot of ache in my heart. My heart knew that the truth is not lived. But the preferred and acceptable by the outside was what was ruling. It is a war zone in the intricacies of the ultimate entanglement (mind, heart and spirit). To know that the truth is set aside for the sake of avoiding the hard conversations and harsh consequences. To be neglected, dismissed and denied, over what your heart desires, because it is not understood or supposedly insignificant where you long for it, is devastating. Oh the numbness! To be sure that it is not a matter of incapacity, but just that you are not deemed worthy of it, hits even harder. To be ridiculed for even pointing it out, the canvas painted as dramatic, Oh, the loud-silence of dismissals – they will erase your sense of being effortlessly. The shamelessness of manufactured layers to the real story will leave you sure, that you are just an extra in your own real - life story. What happened to the surety that if only you were confident, secure and independent then you would be proud? The empty promises dressed in potential. If you change this about you then I will - the projections from the unaware. Be careful what you wish for they said. Be very respectful of the prayers uttered by the faithful I say. What if what you think you want comes and you don't have the arms to embrace it? What if you were the one who always clipped your own wings? What if you do not even have wings to fly anymore? What if you do not even have anywhere to fly to? When God decides you cannot run away. When he says there is no gaining from this season. When he positions a steadiness of nonsense, of nothingness, of emptiness. The rain is falling, the sun is shinning, the wind is blowing - it is a storm. And suddenly, you realize – it is not just overwhelming or underwhelming either. It is just over.
I have been learning, sitting, looking, working, moving and living in this reality for such a long time. I love deeply, I love hard. I commit firmly and loyalty is too much. It scares me as well. Life as I imagined is gone. It is now life as God controls. As God rules. When I self-examined last year and heard a voice noting peace, contentment, stillness – my God, I did not know you were meaning this. It is well though. I surrender. I accept. I concede.
This is a time of tearing parts, of silence.
Let the noises of folly around me never interfere with the peace that harnessed in me. May I tempt not to even try to convince the interferences to stop. So long it is outside, it is out of my control. So long it is about what is within, this mind, this heart, cleaned and directed by my maker– be it to my delight. I will wait on you, I will trust in you, oh Lord. For my ways for so long never were peaceful. But when I sought you, you delivered me. Take, if it is no longer mine. I have no more fight to keep what and who you’ve let out.
Order my steps oh Lord, the journey is active. You lead, you teach, you rebuke, you change, you control, you establish and I humble myself. The petitions for so long where opposite of what I thought peace was. I thought peace is about the perfect picture. However, this year you have stripped me off the armor of my own superficial understandings, that only cater to a good public image. I have tasted bits of this transcendence before, in 2021. It is as if this year you are affirming everything and reassuring me, that it is well. I am scared to be honest, the peace with all this is scary. Why am I so calm? I can see the cracks now full blown into sink holes. There won’t be no spontaneous jump that will see me on the other side. I am already on the other side while looped in the darkness. I cannot explain it, but I did pray for peace in the midst of it all. So, thank you!
It is a focus on you, keeping up courage and not losing heart. In Hebrews 12: 1 to 3 - Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, 2 fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3 Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.
To have courage and keep it up... To not lose heart though losing whatever I thought was mine for keeps. This spiritual encouragement for this month of a new season of renewal (Spring) - it scared me. I do not even know how I managed almost an hour of encouraging and sharing this message. However, a lot for a while has been a gracious maze. You lead, I follow, till the end- God.
To have courage and keep up with it in a situation such as the one Paul was in, needs more than just skills to speak - to express . It required more than just one’s ability to do a task at hand as a servant of God or a believer of Christ Jesus (Acts 27: 20-22) - the Holy spirit was at work. It needed faith. To have courage and keep up with it, has left me just holding on to faith. Acts 27: 23-26 – ‘23 Last night an angel of the God to whom I belong and whom I serve stood beside me 24 and said, ‘Do not be afraid, Paul. You must stand trial before Caesar; and God has graciously given you the lives of all who sail with you.’ 25 So keep up your courage, men, for I have faith in God that it will happen just as he told me. 26 Nevertheless, we must run aground on some island. "
It needs a fixed attention to what God directs and instructs, this being courageous matters. It requires Fear, the fear of God and not of people’s power over you. To keep up courage requires an awareness on what is expected and approved by God first before your own agendas and wishes, it requires more than just being very religious in your own understanding. I am at this point! There is absolutely nothing looking bright logically, I am just sitting here trusting it is all working out for my good. I have said it, that I have no plan, I just have God.
‘For in him we live and move and have our being.'
To keep up courage requires consistency in being about the word of God, praying, patiently waiting, determined and fulfilling tasks that Glorify God. (ACTS 14 AND ACTS 21). This is a journey of ordered steps for God’s delight. Philippians 3:14 – I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. This is what the journey requires, consistency in moving forward by faith no matter the perplexing circumstances.
Galatians 6:9: “And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up. Do not give up in your walk of faith no matter how hard life gets. Ordered steps needs reverence in fearing God (Obedience). The severance of all this is packaged eternally.
To be about God is not about being qualified by those around us, but by the Holy spirit in us. We Must be content in fixing our attention in Him so that he can fix his attention on us and help us keep up with what he has planned for our lives. Not what we have planned for ourselves. The ordered steps for our lives’ journey, no matter what or who easily disqualifies and entangles are already set. To be content with whatever is, in the Lord, we need to value this word as our daily bread– (Hebrews 12:1-2). We matter to God in ways our worldly minds and deceiving hearts can never comprehend. Let us walk in the light(a journey of Ordered Steps).
This is a matter of Upliftment for your Contentment in the Lord.
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