Endearing Hearts

So I gave in to my curiosity this year, to find out more on how Mother's day started. It must be when the first child was born (I mean, that is easy enough in my head). Well, my findings consequently had a hold on efforts to honor, unify, teach, celebrate and acknowledge mothers. There is a lot to read on this. I gathered this and it is all very well. Nothing I did not expect really. This is motherhood after all, an exceptional entity. One of life_VITALITY! Foolishness would be to try and minimize this.

There is nothing ordinary about Motherhood. I have very strong opinions about this, some experience too, and I can use some more of it. Whenever you hear experience, just know there is a lot of challenges and lessons that come with the subject of the matter. The best teacher of all time. You will think you know love until you love a child. You will think you cannot carry on the weight until you carry a life for months. Some carry lives even. So, it is all just way too lovely to not applaud, if not be in awe. What a wonder it all is, what an experience. Then of cause, a lot of growth is inspired, just as required. Epiphanies galore!

Touchy much like most, still, I simply am not a regular mom. I do not come by as perfect. I do however, believe I'm giving my best at it. I did not always think this way of cause. You reach a destination and just as quickly be on a journey all over again. Motherhood requires you to realize you have no other choice but to embrace. I do not always make good choices, but for some reason I never feel like I'm done with it. No hurdle ever makes me feel that I can give it all up, but I do get days when it is all just too much. I am always telling other mothers of my age to just surrender. Motherhood, a relationship that men we love get jealous of sometimes, for we supposedly pay attention to them little ones more. Unintended on my part, it just comes with the womb I guess. To hold them just a little closer than any other I am referring. It is risky to compare any love to a love of a mother to her child, I believe. Do not set yourself up to this trap. This is the privilege that often weighs us down, as we loose so much sleep cradling such fragility but yet so full of surrender and discovery of our strength every single day, and night. Even with the pain and changes that come with bringing a life in this world, the joy in it keeps giving. From your push and the pull you had to endure to open up and be closed up all over again, to that glorious cry, tears of triumph and joy to flood in. Longing to be present in every milestone even though we nurture with hope they become independent, what a journey. I do not want to miss a thing, but part of motherhood is letting them grow and at times, letting them go (let them be their own person). So much endearing!

It is a need...

When we are not needed we get confused if it is something to be proud of or be sad that our babies are growing. A big world to face for them. All this and more, it is a baby we remain to our own mothers while mightily giving in to its purpose for our own bundle(s) of joy. It is a need to have a mother close and a need to be a good one. God still has the final say in all this. Oh our Little ones, to share them and get help raising them is not always easy. The need is always there though. To raise them is a "take-over" of self. What can possibly fulfil and tire more than motherhood? No irregularities can ever stop a loving mother from giving it her all.

I am no regular Mom. I do not have a situation matched to another mom.

My kids are not matched to those of another. I was born and raised by a mother who was enduring in her worst and supreme in her best. The grace is that I can still honor her as such. No other compares and I am not trying to either. I wouldn't dare and not pray for her every chance I afford myself to! Yes, you make time for prayer too. You pray for motherhood to be as God intended. You thank God for the blessings and ask for guidance every chance you get.

I am no regular Mom. I am not fixing a hot plate every day nor reading bed time stories for I have to be away every now and then. The heart sure grows fonder, and the distance never takes away who I am to Phathutshedzo and Rolivhuwa(my kids) . I am always wondering if it will be what is suggested to be time lost to never be found again or if it is time where I was brave enough to ensure I was not a bitter Mom in their presence, depending on their father for everything they require. I prefer thinking of it as an investment and an opportunity our family is brave enough to partake, as one. Growing in oneness and loving beyond what is described as the ideal way of raising children. As I've taught them to pray and ask God to provide opportunities that bring me closer to home, the comfort is that they are now actively a part of this brave decision. What more can I ask for, than a relationship with my children that is full of understanding in all its circumstances. God shall do as he pleases in this regard. In the mean time, I will trust and believe.

No regular Mom, I do not pretend to be a rock in their presence. I have learned to express that I am sad to them. They have learned to tell when I am tired. What is deemed as a weakness for me is turning out to be strengthening. If your child can laugh with you, they can learn to comfort through you too. Who best to know me as a mother than my own kids? I shall build on this liberating quality!

There is nothing regular about my devotion to be a part of their lives. However, I pray not to feel entitled of their lives. There is a trial error to this. Some days my smothering is acceptable, and at times it is in their way. Who of you fear it might be a natural thing to be almost of micro-management when you mother? I can sure use clarity from God on this... (Pray about it - FOR DISCERNMENT). For there is a lot of second-guessing that goes on with motherhood, just as well as maternal instincts. When in fact, I never intend to stop striving for that organization, that structure, caution is that it should not to be in a controlling way. Can you relate?

Beauty and the Beast Moments.

Ever gave your child a piece of your mind and sat yourself down and be full of regrets? That feeling that they will hate you forever making you feel numb. Asking yourself if it was necessary to go that far. If you are a good mother or deserve them. Damnit, you wont sleep well! You can be sure of that. And when tomorrow comes, is a new day and they are just in a whole new mood, little angles in their best behavior. Oh yes, the bold (mothers) and the beautiful (children) go on with the day. They grow so fast. It is a lesson of forgiveness at play. It is all about growing , working on your patience, kindness and understanding, that there will be time for everything.

Now it is mother's day, and when you wish me a "happy one", just know that I can do with that wish every other day. There is no reason why this cannot be so. No reason why I can not honor myself daily, actually. I can acknowledge this privilege that I am blessed so dearly. What better way to do this than to dedicate a prayer of thanksgiving to motherhood. Be of grace as I uphold what it comes with it. Nurture beyond just my own flesh and blood. Be teachable and share. Be of good influence to other mothers. Pray for those mother figures God blessed me with. Pray for my mother. Pray for my motherhood and avoid comparing myself with other mothers. It is much better to just learn from them.

Sure, it is all nice to be recognized by others. It is much more important to be aware that you deserve this honor every other day too. The extraordinary you AS A MOTHER, simply just Matter!

Your endearing heart is nurturing lives to matter. You simply Matter!

Regards

Mme a Phathutshedzo and Rolivhuwa