Reaction : Unplug

I am glad to say this year I’m really getting into this thing called unplugging effectively as my way to center myself. I am very sensitive and too analytical when it comes to things. This makes it a bit of a challenge when I’m socializing of cause, because I can be so emotional about what requires just a tad of attention towards acknowledgement rather than direct and personalized responses.

As one of my unusual pleasures lately, when I feel like I’m having an imbalance energy towards something coming up or I get too emotionally involved in what just needs calm reaction, I unplug. I am one of those people who keep in touch mostly with very close friends and family, and this means I share a lot and probably too much because it feels safe. This character of mine then leads to a lot of emotional attachments that can be triggering of many traumatic events because I don’t necessary relax or think rationally if there’s a challenge or a struggle with something. This means also that I am transparent and it will be obvious to most people who are in the loop of how Rocky I might be and therefore I try too hard at times to ease their mind that I’m coping. So, unplugging strips that need to reassure everyone I’m okay when I’m not.

Unplug- “disengage from one's usual activities, especially those involving smartphones or computers, as a method of relaxation or for health reasons.” (Oxford Languages, 2022)

Now, in my reaction to be inaccessible or unavailable for a while, I am finding this strength to enrich my sense of self honestly and without feeling pressure. I literally left certain groups in my virtual circles that are good but rather engages my emotions tirelessly. And it wasn’t a light decision to do so, but the present moment needs some serious filtering of what I consume and whom I consume from. I can say I’m setting boundaries to allow my character to grow and develop into reacting with objectivity while taking care of my sanity. You see, I find it hard to not share or help out, but this also leaves me very unkind to myself because I end up drained, especially if it’s something from someone I really care about. I use to fear being open about this because I don't want of to be labeled selfish. However, I’m finding that unplugging takes care of just about everything and everyone who actually values my contribution in their lives. When I give myself time to regroup and be less fragmented, I can then present my energy to all with sensibility and cheerful giving. I believe this means I react better to a random conversation that triggers something hard or not attach other people’s pain entirely to my energy.

As I channel time to myself lately, I am finding it really therapeutic. It is like I put off more and more of my yoke and let God know I’m available for what he has in store for the growing me. Most of us I’m sure feel guilty over certain missed calls or communications because it might come across as though we don’t care. But, have you ever wondered how the worst hardly ever happens when we are focused on building ourselves when it comes to the real ones in our circles? If they know you are going through some-things, changes, trials,… don’t you find that those who really wish you well are so not concerned for themselves but just trusting of your taking care of self? It is much like how God says he will never leave nor forsake you, you can’t then be a believer who is constantly worried about always being involved so much that you are left depleted. If you are empty, you simply need a Fill up. So it is important to invest in what fills you up when you are faced with what drains you or draws you to numbness.

In Solitude, I don’t have to explain my feelings and be inevitably in the receiving end of what others make of things as their reaction attached to personal experiences. In my time out, I find that my mind opens up to what I need to really face and understand about myself without egg shell moments of who I might be offending. I realize opportunities that need to be ceased and minimize voices that come with possible reasons why I cannot potentially make big of what I discovered. Yes, when I unplug at times I feel so lonely. I do feel out of touch. However, I get to be drawn near to God and remember his promises. So, in my Solitary reactions to the outside, I give room for the inside to circulate better what needs presence for my wholesomeness rather than my empty. This leads me to start seeing and valuing the little that I have and have this feeling that it is enough.

I am honestly finding that the more I unplug and have less voices actively influencing my reactions, the more I discover what needs me to be grateful for. Some people hardly have or make time to enjoy their homes or just rewards of their sweat because they need to keep up with what is up and about. I do become that person every now and then, but I am no longer content with this. I am growing towards keeping up with what’s within first. I believe it is helping me shape up a more stable life. Sure, I’m losing some relationships in the process, but I would rather lose what’s out there than what is in me. Spiritually, he who is in me is greater than you who is out here influencing and deriving a hype of some sort. Honestly, I am in a season where it is not working out, this keeping up with everything and everyone. How can I manage that when I’m trying to grow closer to God. Won’t I end up conforming to the trends because that’s what I would be consuming tirelessly maybe on social media? If I’m having time for everything and everyone else, where would I be? Who would be taking care of me? If you haven’t realized this by now, I am learning that character building sometimes means being clear on boundaries. When I unplug, the reaction is to effect a boundary that I too Matter.

This is hopefully going to encourage someone to invest into better reacting to situations that honestly drowns and drains them specifically so due to lack of having boundaries. Maybe you are a giver of note, and blessed is you. However, you don’t feel blessed at all because you do not do it cheerfully. As a result, you complain when not recognized for your giving. Your friends maybe looking ungrateful towards that sacrifice you made because they never asked you to prioritize them, you just imposed thinking you are needed so they let you be there. They know you get too involved, too invested, so they let you. But, because you are invested from a space of desperation or in need of validation, you end up a tad bitter, unfulfilled or depleted. Find a way out of this if indeed you are like me and gave too much from an empty cup. Make time for yourself to best present yourself to others. It is okay to miss out on somethings, if it means you won’t be losing yourself. Effect a reaction to things and people that/who Matter in your life from a point of self respect. It is true what I am always saying, You Matter. And, at times to be kind to others simply requires you acknowledge the kindness you need to give yourself. To care for others at times means praying for them and not feeling like you are paying for having them in your life. To be valued sometimes requires that you be inaccessible as you are after all a limited edition. To grow at times needs you to be unseen as you haven’t yet come to a stage of emerging, you haven’t yet found your rooting.

In a moment like this, where your reaction is to unplug for a while because you need the time to yourself, remember that the best company you can seek while diving into what has numb you is that of God.

Your presence some time needs to be felt in your absence. This is because your impact doesn’t need to be overextended or exerted all the time. You just need to be true to where you are and how you are. Sometimes, you are just not well, okay or strong enough to best present yourself. It is what humbles you to grow your character as you honestly tap into getting better.

Look out for this in your relationships that are perhaps draining, too dramatic or one sided. There could be a need for you to maximize on being less active in your reactions. You could need to just give yourself a little time out of touch to come to terms with what little value the relationship is having or what honestly needs work to be revealed with less commotion. The arguing, shouting, fighting, revenge and need to be right, might just be the one constant stumping on actually reaching resolutions much needed. Where there is no incentive for peace(rich in disregard, anger, babble, egotistic, pride, envy, jealousy), there is irrelevant and inability to harness growth or common ground. It is true, to humble yourself lifts up the mood and enhances good intentions to come to life.

Scriptures touched for this post to come to life: 2 Timothy 2:15-24, James 4:10, I Peter 5:6, Philippians 2:12-16, Proverbs 21:5, Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 and Romans 14:19 – “Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification.”

Regards

Livhuwasha