Self-Care Conceptions and Misconceptions in my Journey

The Pisces I am with my flow and deep-rooted feelings in about everything is still alive. I started with this blog during women’s month back in 2020, and checking up on my womanhood, if the self-care journey I am on is truly building up the kind character I am meant to embody remains a thing to this day. For this season in my life, I committed to INFLICT NO PRESSURE, BUT JUST TAKE PLEASURE in taking care of myself more. I pumped up on my exercise routines to complement my drive. At this point, living it out is more significant than just gunning to post. I also took interest in reflecting(self-introspection) on the impact I am having on other people as well. I have been getting a lot of feedback from the most unlikely places as to how I'm carrying myself is positively helping on matters of self-love mostly. I feel confident about the positive energy I exude, even the parts where my Self-Care comes off too strong. This again, comes with an awareness of my shortcomings as well. Growth and development carries it all!

The Impact of Self-Care Investments

Women’s month is an incredibly special time that always get me thinking what it is that I am doing that separate me from what men do. This is in no way a shot taken on the leaders ordained by God by any chance. It is just that what befalls me as a woman, I carry and should own with pride. Given the circumstances, when it was time to answer what I may be doing that shuns the beauty of womanhood, I immediately thought of the time I am not spending physically praying with and for others. I will do something about this very soon. Self-Care Investments have been getting me to learn to hold myself down, counting on the awareness of self to work for my good. And so, it is a position of weakness when I am not praying, and the people who encourage me to pray in my spiritual self-care journey are a significant part of such. The feeling that I need to invest more time in prayer with them physically is telling. When focusing on self-care, you learn to accommodate your imperfections with grace that when you lean towards self-harm or self-loathing, you develop a way of snapping right out of it. I have found that I enjoy having a group of people, particularly women, who are looking to work on their spiritual growth to snap right out of moments of feeling like I ain't enough, sometimes. At the same time, I have a healthy relationship with self when it comes to self-motivating. Self-care has been teaching me to keep grounded. I keep grounded through prayer, meaningful connections, and therapy. Every other day I get up and be sure of my vulnerability and still be open to lay what is firm out in the open without any doubt. When the doubts come, I do not duck. When my dark side peaks, I use my faith and light to leap. Everything I do of which I am aware works against my own shine, I now actively look for ways to capture opportunities that will leave me enlightened. Self-Care enables you be comfortable with your flaws but at the same time actively working to be better. Self-Care is the kind of spectrum that reminds you of the road you still must travel to get to a place in you called home. You value patience with self. By the time you start reaping from what you sow you will have gone through noticeably challenging things that build your character. It is not something that you can rush.

Investing in Therapy

One thing about me is how humbled I am in life over how unhealthy my thoughts of self-have been. I had a very poor relationship with myself for a long time. I think for the three decades of my life, I only came to terms with this and worked on my mental health for less than a quarter of it. I focused a lot on other people doing this and not doing that to and for me too much that I am very humbled at how much the Lord's grace has sufficiently kept me alive. Depression was close to killing me. In truth, Self-Care leaves you standing alone facing your own reflection as you will learn how unhealthy some of your relationships are to your wholesomeness. You will have to let go of comfortable and familiar habits that you thought were a big part of you. Habits of self-pity and playing victim, You will learn most times that you work against yourself in most things that matter. When you choose to invest in yourself, you are also choosing to face hard life facts that expose your superficial expectations. Self-Care will let you value life as it is, experiences that tormented you will start coming across as blessings because you are no longer haunted by what you once perceived as deal breakers. This is at least what my journey with my psychologist for years now has taught me. Therapy has capacitated me with tools to face life assured that most of my downs can be turned into updates mentally. Therapy is not a preventative tool to avoid challenges. It does not mean you will always be happy and able to manage your emotions. It only increases your self-awareness and helps you to resolve, strategize, develop, improve, and consort to life things and its people. A person who can stabilize their mind has discovered a powerful art of life.

The Boundaries Effect

The impositions and disposition of others in our lives is part of life, of engaging and relating. W e deal with this by knowing what we are for and that which we do not prefer, and communicate it. You at times communicate this out loud or by being silent. Those are all forms of communication I have found. They all set a tone to some reaction or result thereof. Self-Care will let you become too forward or even unkind to people who are not aware of their own individual self-care needs. At times they are in fact just very aware of your boundaries and despise that you are firm. Most times remarks that you have changed from so many people will come with hints that you are different and not in an appealing way. People will view you as that person who is somehow weird. What I have been learning from my journey is that I am content with disappointing people's narratives over how they thought I am if it means they will not be able to break me down or take away the peace within which I have developed. If you are in this self-care lifestyle, you will definitely come across a lot of criticism. I am very mindful of outside influences not taking too much space in me now. Outside influences also include my family. I have been through a lot with my family as far as boundaries are concerned. The two love languages that dominate my connections are acts of service and words of encouragement. I lacked a lot of balance as to how much I should be giving. I intentionally depleted myself in serving my family as my way to express love. I would sacrifice most things that develop me individually just to make them happy or impressed. I remember cooking up a storm and not even sit with my family to enjoy the meal because I wanted to finish the other chore in line. The laundry basket only left with my clothes to straighten because I started with theirs was proof of love, to me was an act of love. The depleting drives I did, rushing home thinking I would be spending quality time with them but end up on my feet for hours stressing to keep everything in order and ready for the next day. I would pick up after them, not ask for help and be angry if they do offer to help because I want my things in a certain way. When they do not acknowledge my efforts, I just ended up feeling like I needed to do more. I even started resenting them for their lack of acknowledgement, according to my expectations. You have no idea how hard it is to love someone who is set in their way but at the same time angry that they are not appreciated. ACTS OF SERVICE AS A LOVE LANGUAGE needs you to have an awareness of when to take time to rest and accept being served yourself. If you do not develop healthy boundaries over this, you will end up depleted, filled with resentment and having misconceptions that you are undervalued even where you are genuinely cared for. As for words of affirmation, when you communicate to others in expressing your love and care for them, if you are not in the self-love gig, you will just feel more unappreciated should people fail to hear/listen/comprehend/appreciate. You will eventually run out of words. Most of your communications will be misunderstood. It is very unpleasing to a soul when that inner voice is not able to make a sound verbally, eventually. I love sharing, motivating, and expressing myself. I have been doing it even in the peak of my depression. My trouble is that I did it to affirm others that they matter more than I DID FOR MYSELF. Self-care helped me to self-motivate/affirm/encourage more instead.

The Inner Self

Self-Care Investments will expose inner work needed. It will even change your ambitions since you will be revoking what was put on you that was never meant to stay attached. What and who you associated to/with may very well become unattractive. What you had lost that is good may very well be found. The right people, the things that align to who you are growing to be, as well as your overall alliance will gravitate towards you without even noticing sometimes. You will start appreciating certain delays you encountered and learn to appreciate them. This is for your comprehension that you were not ready for whatever beauty, responsibilities and reactions that comes with certain milestones/blessings/developments. I never thought I could be capable of enjoying my own company, be in public set ups alone and not be filled with thoughts of how lonely I must be looking. I never thought I could really enjoy myself in a crowd with people doing things I do not do or prefer. I never thought I could ever get to make friends with certain people or accept their help. I never thought I could be spontaneous even just occasionally. I never thought I could be firm in really saying no to loved ones and not feel guilty about it. Saying no, delaying certain responses and even admitting to not being satisfied, right or tired – I never thought I could learn to trust in humbly expressing such kind of things. I have been thoroughly tested in this, and I have only been realizing that I am more settled outwardly because a lot of self-care matters I embark on are empowering my inner self. This journey has been rough, but my inner soles have been comforting. You will always appreciate a good inner sole in this climb life is, especially if you are working on your self.

The Transition

Carl Jung 

Self-Care is a new perspective of self-ignited. A transition you never even thought you needed or existed. An eminent awakening. You will spark a light that you never even knew you carried. You will forsake things you once vowed you would never let go of, even relationships with certain people. You will welcome hard changes and somehow feel lighter. You will start having a voice on things that previously left you mum. To love others will only work if you are loving yourself even more. To be broken will only empower your mending capacity if you are praying fervently and not pretending to be in control or unmoved all the time. You cannot heal what you are not aware is broken. Your necessities will not be about what you deem ideal externally, you will find that you are very content mostly with what you carry within. When certain things like a dull paint is brushed on your name, you will discern better on how to not be invested in self-vindication. You will still be at the same time not a taker of nonsensical things. Very protective of your positive energy. There will be a certain level of self-discipline and self-confidence you will exude speaking louder than naysayers. Self-Care lets you be comfortable with having enemies, and dropping routines that attract unchallenging relations. You will at the same time embrace every encounter. You will be able recognize a balance of life that affords all of us bad days. It will not be something you linger too much to, when it is rough. Also, you will never be the kind that denies devastating times and life’s truth. When you need help you will not feel weakened by the prospects of seeking it even in places you know you will get dumb founded. Your energy will attract authenticity. Self-care makes you identify intimidated behaviors around you. When you are out here in the world aware of yourself and humble about it, the unaware around end up exposed. It will be your fault if you take it personally and you will know it. Part of being at peace with yourself is that you must be able to filter out what is not meant to infiltrate your space and take refuge. You are not responsible for other people’s self-care journey. SELF-WORK is for everyone, but mostly the bold. I have been experiencing all these things in my journey.

Serene Corner

I will end this with what helps me connect to a serene spirit (spiritual self-care investments). Every month I intentionally, actively, and attentively commit to building my relationship with the Lord in ways that also add to my self-care journey. This is because there is no self-care without spiritual growth ventures in my life. I hope you will find it compelling.

SPIRITUAL ENCOURAGEMENT FOR THIS SPRING

Topic : An Honest Look at Self

 To fully appreciate what is new, we must acknowledge the past.

 To value spring we must be willing to accept what had to shed first.

 To keep in God’s alignment, we must be willing to be corrected/enlightened.

 Better yet, be willing to wear off falsehood.

 We must be willing to be humbled and be humble, to look into ourselves and admit to our flaws and faults.

Main Scripture : Matthew 7:3-5

“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

Points of Encouragement

1. Value Self-introspection

This part here is one of the answers to minding and removing our own planks that are blinding us. It is what will really help us in not failing the tests of judgmental. Self-examining will always help you develop your discernment.

2 Corinthians 13:5

Examine yourselves, to see whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves. Or do you not realize this about yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you? —unless indeed you fail to meet the test!

A person who is doing a lot of examination of self will be humbled by that which is good and bad about their character. Often this will really help you appreciate the faults in others, be kind and more patient with them instead of judging. However, a Hypocrite is always contradicting themselves. They are of pretense, unfocused. They pass judgments unjustly. They are then often dumb founded. Being self-aware of your own wrong doings and challenges can channel your walk of faith to stand through many tests of time (as you journey on towards the Kingdom of God).

2. Focus on Leading a Good Life

Psalm 26 :2-3

David sings: Test me, Lord, and try me,

examine my heart and my mind; for I have always been mindful of your unfailing love and have lived in reliance on your faithfulness.

When you are in desire to do or be something, you ought to be doing something to be about that specific thing. To find yourself focusing on being blameless and pleasing to God, you need to get yourself to working on things that align with His Kingdom. You must be the kind that will not be shying away from trials and tribulations, for they will come to test your faith.

You must be the kind that is into thoughts of whatever is pure, just, noble, of love and praiseworthy and practice of such- for that is what will give you Peace that surpasses all understanding.

Philippians 4: 9

Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

3. Pray for a Willing Spirit

Psalm 51:10-12: "Create in me a clean heart, O God, and put a new and right spirit within me. Do not cast me away from your presence, and do not take your holy spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and sustain in me a willing spirit”.

A willing spirit is the kind that knows it is not wearing spotless garments. It is humbled by its own heavy weight. It understands that the one who is worthy of praise is God and not themselves. A willing heart wears off ego. It seeks repentance and restoration. A willing spirit is the kind that is self-examining and focusing on what empowers their walk of faith. This kind of spirit is longing for God to dwell in them, His Presence. A willing spirit is steadfast in the Love of God.

James 1:12

Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him.

May this be you, me, us... May we allow God to work on us.

Conclusion

Proverbs 3:5-6

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.

💡"Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes."–Carl Jung

☺️As spring has sprung, 🌺may the Bloom in you Ooz and ⭐the light in you shines.

Regards

Livhuwasha