The Influence You have on Others.

A lot of my gardening carry with intentions to have something to look forward to the next day, a sense of purpose and responsibility to have a sustainable way of saving as far as grocery is concerned really. The intention also fulfill my need to get what I deserve from my hard work, with a pleasant environment and some really fresh produce to indulge on. There are significant lessons in this hobby that go far beyond the tilling of the soil. The faith put on sown seeds and the hope for it to go through so many developmental phases, is all to familiar with what I once read in the book by Stormie Omartian, The Power of Prayer for Couples. The passage reads; “Putting the process of change entirely in the Lord’s hands means you can trust that His timing and methods are perfect- and then you become free to enjoy the process.”

On this very special day, Thursday morning, it comes with the focus on the good intentions I believe investing in somethings can cultivate. It be intentions to raise your children well or intentions for you to change your ways for the better, this is about that. Some changes to go through will not be easy, for sure. There is no easy way to admit that the company you keep works against your progress when those are the only people you have had the most fun with all your life. Some habits really work against our potential, like being lazy or oversensitive. It is not easy to put in the work for a change to come if you have not acknowledged and accepted the need for it to happen. It is not easy to appreciate the process if you do not value the virtue that comes with patience. Establishing the purpose, goal and intent truly helps. There is a change every single one of us can use in our lives, personally. As long as the certainty of time moving on remains, one way or another, we live with changes. This then makes change inevitable and won’t always be as we’d like it to be.

I am a mother of two with a responsibility not to lead them astray and other children as well. This is a matter of what I teach my children having an impact on how they carry themselves when they are with others. There is an indirect role that cannot be denied. It is not something to be taken lightly. Having good intentions can help me have priorities that do not go against their well-being. Even as such, there is this belief I have that, where a mere mother like me is entrusted with such a responsibility by God, I will not always handle it for their best interest. I will make mistakes. This is why in most of my prayers, I ask for God’s will to be done and that he takes lead, always. I am fully aware that the good intentions I have for them to grow well is not enough, as this is subject to my perceptions and believes that they themselves as individuals, are to make up their minds and hearts of. It is not a truth you can afford to deny. It is what it is! I am not living for them, nor them for me. We all have journeys of our own, we just happen to be in close proximity. What is very scary about this is that, as much as I can tell them right from wrong, they will tell them apart best from how I act. The influence of my actions outweighs my words. Even if they get to read my blog some day, they will be in a better position to determine my influence, for they see me in action. It is daunting hey!

Much like a journey defined and destined to some point, other points have no ways to turn back from. The intentions you have for a lot of things in your life hardly ever have a chance for a do over once something happens. The times when you are remorseful and be explaining that you did not intend for things to turn out a certain way, it usually ends up as a matter of accepting things as they are and moving on doesn’t it. Would you rather have good or bad intentions hanging over your conscience over it as you carry on from that? This is what this is about, making plans to be able to live with yourself when certain things occur and there is no turning back. I can tell you for sure, there are things you cannot avoid or even plan for, however there is this task called being able to live with yourself when those unavoidable things happen. It is important to be able to be honest with yourself when these things happen. I am talking about understanding that you have an influence on many things, including lives. Best you tread carefully!

I am an aunt of many and considering my culture I understand the significance of this role all too well. I use to have issues with being called “Aunt” because I felt like it was associated with being this very strict person, the one to be all over everyone’s business. I am still working on defining the role in a way that is of instilling light rather than authority, as culture suggests. One of the way I have been working on this is being the kind of aunt known for encouraging others to pray. I know given my history, I have a long way to go with other things, but I am sure about what prayer does for one’s life. I believe in its power. If there is anything I hope to have influence on the lives of my nephews, that is it, for them to believe in the power of prayer and the acts that are investments on their spiritual well-being. This of cause comes with me positioning myself away from standing in their parent’s way. If it is being the aunt who takes them shopping, that will have to wait. The same with the kind of partner/sister/friend I try to be, I am not so much of a cool or fun one I think. However, I try to be the one you will ask to pray with. I am not saying this to look holy, I am far from that. I am just saying, in all my madness and ugliness, when it comes to this part, I aspire to be that kind of a person in your life. The kind of person you can talk to and pray with. It does not matter to me if we do not go out for lunch together, it matters to me that when you are at your lowest, you know I will be praying for you.

I have found that in life, while it is hip and happening to be popular, it is lonely when you unplug and no one is around. However, when you work on doing good and being of a good example, it is not so lonely after all. People are really going through the most out there, and it is unbelievably reckless to just be crazy about the number of likes you get. Have you ever said something stupid in the name of fun and within moments after, you hear of devastating news like death? It will haunt you thinking about how insensible you must have sounded if you really believe you are better than that. It is not always worth at to be the Joker as at times it goes against the truth in, "there is a time and place for everything". Even in the movie, the character was not laughing because he wanted to all the time. He had a medical disorder that made him unable to control his laugh even in the most inappropriate times (Joker_(2019_film) ). I always try to avoid this with my writing. I try to write only when I am moved, in the moment. This is to help with my conscience, should I offend. I was challenged the other day when asked as to why I am blogging, since many other people can do it. I took a pause and a sigh all at once, and mentioned that it is really about making sure I know that I matter along with the few people who will have time to go through the blog. I then went on to explain that, the access to information about many other things happening around the world has a potential to take away from one’s self-worth as well as add to it. I hope to be that kind of a person who goes on and on about what they believe in only to help others do the same with their own believes. The intention is that you get encouraged to invest in yourself as I share what I am invested on. This is not so complicated now is it? It is just that YOU MATTER.

Truth be told, good or bad, you have an influence in someone’s life. Which kind are you? Remember, there is always room to grow when you love. You can afford to love more than to be unkind. You can be of a good influence even if you are not perfect. All it takes, is for you to be kind to yourself and it will transcend to others. All it requires is for you to embrace and cherish the love you get from others so that you find it inspirational enough to share the same love with others. It is about doing to others what you wish done to you.

We ought to love one another, I John 4: 9-21.

Regards

Livhuwani